July and just another challenging day in the life of a parent

It's July and a significant month at that. Our 3rd wedding anniversary falls on the same day as Ian turning 16 months, Ian's grandparents have finally come home from a 3 month long absence, and we're halfway into the year 2007. The past month has brought about a fair amount of changes - neighbour has moved away, colleagues who tendered their resignations, and as for me, a boss who has very much upped the ante again and now expects 101% thorough work, and "2 steps ahead, always".

Hearing this makes me feel tired, and not the least bit motivated. Throw in the glum look I get from Ian on weekday mornings and his "weekends with Mummy and Daddy let us not waste precious time" behaviour and I pretty much end up asking myself again why is it that I'm not making myself and my son happy by staying home. We spent quality time together this weekend - he loves it when I carry him to the supermarket or for walks along Strathmore Avenue, even if it's just to look at birds flying. Of course to him nothing beats a trip to the East Coast, but it's another form of joy for him and somehow I feel guilty as to why I can only do this with him on weekends. I realise he's growing up fast and is more aware of these things now because somehow I can read it in his expressions and moods. In a way, going to work is a lot harder too because he learnt that some goodbyes are tougher to make than others.

But is my staying home better for him? With dual income our financial position is comfortable and we're on track to saving for his future. So to stop work is not the most practical thing although the temptation is always there for some reason. Maybe what is best is a job with flexi-work arrangements. But please, this is Singapore the land of increasing competitiveness and mounting bills. Flexi-work is like taking 30% of time off work and also taking 30% of your previous pay home. Life sucks sometimes because you can only have one or the other and both are equally important. And either option comes with its full set of sucky issues.

Oh well, just another challenging day in the life of a parent.

Ian's date with Keona

Ah another update on the lovebirds.

Keona stopped by our place last weekend and it was interesting watching them. Ian actually went a bit ga-ga by her presence, but nevertheless enjoyed her brief company. I think she's more receptive to him now (maybe resigned even?) since she didn't have the look of disgust this time round when he planted her a full goodbye kiss on the lips at the door.





Both went to nap quite happily after that.






Just this morning we met Keo at NTUC. A real princess she is, next to our little restless prince.

Ian's First Steps

Ian took his first tentative steps about 2 weeks back, and he's a more confident walker now, even though on some days, it's a real challenge getting him to wear his shoes.

Happy we got this on film!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRwaMyiGBEQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLRZGAcrv4U

Hold your breath everybody...

I held mine - my little Sweetpea took his first steps yesterday.
(Video akan datang)

Making progress...

Update: The kids met again last weekend and Ian presented 'Na-Na' with a green apple. She accepted, and allowed him a kiss on the lips.

I don't know what will happen from here.
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2 friends are expecting kids early next year. Hiak hiak hiak, so the fun begins for them.

Hiak hiak hiak.

Muak, muak, MUAAAK!

To me, where we live is something special. Maybe it's the big beautiful trees that line Strathmore Avenue, or the open field across the road that's play ground for birds and kite-flying activities. Maybe it's the NTUC Supermarket that's 2 minutes' walk away, or maybe I simply love the tranquil of the neighbourhood.

For Ian, it's probably all of the above plus a 12 month old little girl who lives on the 4th floor. Named Kyona or known as 'Na-na' to him, she charmed her way into our little boy's heart, just by her presence. They first met at the playground downstairs, and he was awed by her ability to walk independently, and by her free spirit. He was somewhat drawn to her, and she created an impression.

They didn't meet for some time after, until last week outside the supermarket.

And boy did he miss her! He chuckled happily, reached out for her not once, not twice, but three times to kiss her on the arm. She was overwhelmed and looked harassed because according to her mummy Jo, she's been eyeing a ride on the supermarket trolley, and not expecting to be 'waylaid' by an eager beaver who, unlike her fresh and clean self, was on his way up for a bath.

I was quite taken aback from all this really, because I didn't expect my little boy to be doing something like this so soon and well Ken is just 'proud and embarrassed' at the same time, but more proud than the latter of course. Just serves to remind me that as much as my little boy loves me, he'll love a girl of his generation more ardently in time to come.

At 13 months.

I love the slide, weeeee!

A new member of the household

We are now officially one of the seven households in Singapore who has hired a maid.

Economically, it makes sense. It's not that expensive to maintain a maid every month, and the key advantage is that with a domestic helper to take care of the practical aspects like housekeeping, it frees up time to do more important things. In our case, the maid plays a more vital role - she is also responsible for looking after Ian while we are at work. Of course we’ve heard about the horror stories, but I don't think we have much of a choice. And neither do the other ones in seven households. And it's the same on the flip side of it - these ladies don't have much of a choice in striving for a better life for their families, except to work here.

At first we considered sending Ian to infant care. But after reconsidering, a maid is still the preferred route, as everyone at home agrees that Ian thrives better under/will not survive without personalised care. After three unlucky misses, we finally got ourselves an Indonesian lady whom we think is mature and responsible enough to carry out her duties, and be a part of the household for the next two years. I'm just worried that Ian wouldn't take to her. Either way I know my son, and he's not the easiest kid to take care of. The Man and I shared a thought - of all the horror stories we've heard about maids, maybe this one will throw in the towel and have her share of horror stories to tell about Ian. Who knows?

Anyhow it's a great relief that it's finally been settled. Notwithstanding the fact that it's not the end of the world, but it's very stressful when it comes to having to source for a good caregiver for Ian, and especially during a time when it's peak season at work.

Fortunately I've been able to take leave this week to spend some time with Ian, and I must say that it's tiring no doubt, but rather enjoyable. We've settled into a routine and these few days I really relish the quality time that we got to spend together at the playground, the supermarket, the park and even IKEA. Of course occasional whims of doing this full time did flash across my mind and it is tempting at times - especially the freedom, I love the freedom! - but in time, all in good time.

Meanwhile my little one has developed new patterns once more. What's in fashion currently is the 'shake your head' syndrome, first meaning
But cuteness and all, I wonder where he got his really feisty temper from...

It'll pass, like they all do

Life is a delicate balance between opposites - you can't have too much or too little of anything; you can't have too much or too little of perspectives; and you can't have too much or too little of change. Too little of all will deprive you and too much of all can wear you down. The paradox of it is that in striving to achieve that balance itself, can deprive AND wear you down. Years from now when you read this Ian, you'll know there were times mummy and daddy felt worn. Rather worn. But nothing changes - we still love and want the best for you, even if it doesn't always involve the easiest decisions to make.

Coming to 13 months and we have to seek alternative childcare arrangements for him. Thankfully he's had a good year under his grandparents' care, but it's time to move on. Everyday I'd walk a fine line and ask myself - am I doing the right thing? Am I doing what's best for him? Am I making the best decision? Some are more clear-cut but most are not. A full day childcare centre has many positive aspects, but equally negative aspects too. A nanny offers no better assurances, let alone a maid. Maybe my brother is right - without priorities, we go round in circles, never getting anywhere. The circle keeps getting bigger, and harder to keep in place.

We don't always have the luxury of time, but things could be worse. We don't always make the right choices, but unlike others we still have limited options. I feel like I'm abandoning him, but he may relish the freedom. I wish we could escape to a new world, but I may never find the courage to. If only things wouldn't change so often, but then otherwise we wouldn't have gained what we have today.

I'm worn, but it'll pass like they all do.

Is that a strand of white hair?!?!?!?!

Sigh.

Happy 1st Birthday, Ian!

Here's some pictures from the actual day itself, and the small gathering we had last Saturday at our place. I had a great time, I hope Ian did too.


<-- Ian's birthday on the 6th of March 2007







Family photo ~ Aaaaa, you're One! --->

<--- His Choo Choo Train cake from Coffee Bean which we took great pains to keep intact

Birthday deco ala 80's style. --->

<--- A chip off the old block.

I hope he enjoyed himself! --->

Ten things we love about Ian

It's the 100th post for Project Sweet Pea, and with his first birthday coming up, it's the ideal time to pen down our ten greatest loves of Ian, traits that make him the great kid that he is.

1. His wake up calls - start the day with a healthy dose of smackings on your face

2. His crawl - technically a half crawl, his technique is so versatile and knee-friendly, we wonder why we didn't think of it in the first place

3. His cute bum - they look as good as Hawthorne the crab's

4. His social appetite - from Tom, Dick and Harry to the neighbours' doggies, everybody loves everybody

5. His sense of irony - after a loud yell, he does the Ian hush

6. His cheeky whims - from nose scringes to saliva-sprayings to lip-pursings to smug-I-wins, he's got them all. Oh and his little 'goldfingers'

7. His innate curiosity and sense of adventure - what happens if you grab daddy's (big) nose...?

8. His laugh - it dissipates today's worries and brightens tomorrow's promises

9. His burrowings at night - to remind us that after a long day, nothing beats a warm cuddle in bed

10. His heart, body, mind and soul - it's what makes him always our little Sweet Pea

Bottom Right: Over 11 months (19th February 2007)

Top Left: At birth (6th March 2006)

Chinese New Year 2007

Dearest Ian,

How are you today? I hope it's another nice day in our little paradise...this time last year, Mummy was writing to you while you were in my womb, and as I look into your big round eyes I wonder in amazement at the year just past and how far we've all come. For you, in the last 11 months you have discovered your fingers and toes; learnt to roll, sit, crawl, stand and now cruise, learnt about the many beautiful things in this world we live in, and learnt to trust us, your family, to protect and nurture you for all time. For Mummy and Daddy, we've both come to accept and love you as an integral part of our lives and in our understanding of what's truly important. In many ways we have grown, and Mummy is really happy. :)

As promised in our thoughts last year, we are prepared with a cute red outfit for you on the first day of the lunar new year, and yes, Daddy will be home to parade you around proudly for red packets. Mummy has full confidence that you'll be giving your best toothy grins over the long weekend!

Gong Xi Fa Cai, Tian Tian Gen Ai Ni.

Love,
Mummy

The Protege

When Ian's Dad was a kid, he once demonstrated to his grandmother at her home that he could make a prata with egg with his bare hands. With real eggs and imaginary dough on an ordinary table top.

I'm not sure she was altogether thrilled with the clean-up.

We brought Ian out for breakfast last Saturday morning and got a seat directly in front of the roti-prata stall. Prata man was hard at work, and so was our little Ian.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fb01Ps5qrjU

There's a kind of hush...

The Ian Hush.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7EWbgUrecI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFm5kRlEkKw

Did he just say...

Date: Wednesday, 31 January 2007.
Time: 830am.
Venue: Along Lorong H, Telok Kurau Road.
Setting: Beautiful morning. Standing outside gate of house across the lane saying hello to cute beagle.
Object of attention: Medium-sized scruffy-looking brown and black siamese-looking kitty cat with floppy left ear hiding next to dustbin.

Ian said: 'Mao'!

Ian's Latest Trick

My baby has attained another milestone.

He crawls to the edge of the coffee table, with his little hand reaching for the table top he pulls himself to a standing position and grins. He then proceeds to bang on the table demanding to be seen and acknowledged, decides if he's in the mood to walk (still somewhat gingerly) along the length of the table using it as a support and finishes off the demonstration by slowly lowering himself to a squatting position, and crawling away.

That's really cool.

Where's My Daddy??

This is Ian's Daddy. Better than Mommy in many ways best known to us.
Thank you Daddy, you make Mommy a better person than she is.

Aaaaaaaaa....You're the ONNNNNE!

Months ago we started teaching Ian how to sign 'GOOD!', with the thumbs up. So when the food's yummy, we go, 'Good?' and up pops the thumb in tandem. He'll then stare at us, stare at the thumb, and one day, he managed to do 'Good' on his own.

Of late the thumb disappeared, replaced by a pointy forefinger. My guess is that he picked it up during one of our storybook sessions, when I was enthusiastically (and repeatedly) pointing at the different animals on the page. Somehow he finds that really cool and picked up on it as a multi-purpose tool - a sign to tell us where he wants to go, a means to reach out and touch (ET style) and lastly his way of saying 'Goodie!'.

So it brings much amusement to us all everytime he whips out that finger, and smiles cheekily. To me, it's like my son telling me 'Mommy, you're my number ONE!'

Speaking of one, he's going to turn One soon. And Mommy here has been talking about planning his party, which till now, is still in the let-me-sit-down-and plan stage. Where to buy his 3D cake, which caterer to go for, the invitation cards, the RSVPs...I should really be starting work on it now.

Hopefully it'll be good enough for him and his finger. :)

The one with the ice cream

For the first time...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBRL6D7vXeY

Then a close second...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVMKPPwa2uk