Please mind the platform gap...

This had been debated in the forum pages of the Straits Times sometime last year, and I did mention briefly about it in my earlier posting (See 'This little Saint gave up a seat, that little vermin didn't!' on November 11 2005) so it's nothing new really. But considering that I had read it before I got pregnant with Sweet Pea and being the size that I am now at 33 weeks, this is probably the most apt time for a mention. After all, no issue becomes really relevant to one until he/she is sitting in that boat, or in this case, riding in that train.

Are Singaporeans obliged to give up their seats to preggies or the older folk in public commute? Using the MRT as an example, with signs on designated seats that are 'encouraged' to be given up to 'those who need it more', if we are a society with people who are raised with the right set of moral values, it will not pose an issue at all - people will automatically and most willingly give up their seats. But we live in an imperfect world, and with it comes a set of realistic expectations. Moreover Singapore is also a non-welfare state, with a bred mindset that you pay for what you get. Hence for me, riding on public transport and getting comfy in the process is never a right - if it's there for the taking you take it; if it's not, just too bad.

Perhaps it is thus, and that I've never had someone stand up for me, much less that vehemently before, that I couldn't help but feel a certain degree of embarrassment when a valiant Indian man came to my rescue on my train commute to work last friday. He was berating at those who 'cannot read the sign', those who are 'obviously blind' and recalling the mix of people in that particular cabin within a metre's radius of me, I think it was targeted more at the women. I got a seat in the end when he alerted me to someone behind who had gotten up to disembark from the train but that didn't make me feel like a million bucks. At first I thought - whatever happened to the confident, outspoken, assertive old me? I would've given up my seat without hesitation previously, and would speak up for others at times that I deem necessary, yet now being on the other side of the fence I seem uncomfortable accepting someone else's graciousness, especially if it came after a seemingly booming chiding voice that resonated throughout in a subdued morning train ride. Daddy Ken was also caught by surprise but was all praise for the man whose gracious intentions are noteworthy of. Of course I was appreciative and thanked him profusely, but Daddy Ken also knows my preferred approach in this kinda thing - I will gladly accept a kind volunteered offer, but I will get a little upset if he yells at someone in public in exchange for a grudging seat offer when all we have to do is wait for another 3 stops and half the commuters get off. I know it upsets him as well when people (especially supposedly more sensitive empathic women) don't give way at escalators or staircases but I prefer the option to exercise assertiveness on my part as well - I will ask for a seat if I feel unwell, I will give someone a piece of my mind if I am on the receiving end of unreasonable behaviour but I am not prepared to champion the cause of the right to a seat on an MRT train for all pregnant women as yet. If courtesy campaigns are as old as I am, what does it say about old habits and mindsets?

What will I teach Sweet Pea though? Practising the right moral values, a man's chivalry, and the right approach in when it comes to the choice in asserting one's beliefs upon the actions of others. It is nice to make the world a better place but do it with tact, and perhaps a touch of class.

But before doing that, I currently have my darling jebbing me everyday, while in my dreams asking coolly not to be put on childcare and for breast milk while I fumble for the lactation consultant. Fortunately the former is mitigated by my kind mother-in-law who is prepared to sacrifice her job (hopefully not her sanity) in raising Sweet pea full time after my maternity leave, which I am very much grateful for. As for the latter, we have 5 weeks till full term before it becomes a reality!

ps: Loke, the friend whose pregnancy is a month before mine, has delivered a baby boy last night. Tick tock, tick tock..who's next in line? :)